OMG!

What is up with that!

I’ve gained two pounds in one week!!!

I started my periods today.

Ate too much yesterday, but I shouldn’t be gaining… Maybe maintaining but not gaining.

I think my colon is full. Maybe its that. Maybe a bit of water weight.

I need to stop fucking up !!!!!!

I was so heavy this morning!!

I’m stuck in the 117s. I starved all day yesterday I dno how I can maintain like this.

I’ve been so depressed lately. Maybe my nutritional condition maybe just a stress because of the exams coming up.

Had a small bag of chocolate caramels this evening.

Can’t wait to weight in tomorrow…. not.

I feel better today.

Need to do a presentation at the pharmacy later though.

I’m starting to feel a little anxious.

Probably I will go to the gym later if I have the energy. My body needs it.

I feel like I have no control of my life right now.

Everything around me is a mess.

I haven’t spoke with my friends for weeks and my boyfriend and his friends are the only people I’m around right now in life.

I’ve abandoned my friends they never call me now, homework I do is minimum, our clothes keep piling up in the bathroom, the floor is dirty and I never get myself to cook or anything for my boyfriend and me.

My day is now usually like this:

# School

# Trying to study and fall asleep

# Computer

# Early to bed

Today I went for a walk though. Need to keep that up, I don’t even have the energy to go to the gym.

In a year I’m becoming a pharmacist if I cope in school. I don’t know how I made it this far, seriously, I feel like I’m so stupid and anxious at all times.

I feel like such a failiure. My food intake was horrible and I purged.

Crap.

Probably still paying for the damage after the weekend.

Went to the store yestserday and filled the top shelf in the fridge of organic jucies and healthy stuff.

Just need to keep that at minimum.

Going out with H.

Have a good day <3

Went to our summerhouse this weekend with my family.

Ate tooo much over the weekend. Bread and muffins and chocolate on saturday and I didn’t really care at the time :/

But got angry with myself when I came home.

Coped all day fasting and had a healthy lunch this evening so I’m hoping to see a lower number tomorrow!

Tired.

Think I will just stay home all day and study.

Life is so much struggle right now.

Can’t wait for its all to be over and just lie on the beach in May 14th!! … Or wait …! I’m still too fat! :/

How can I loose cellulite on my thighs fast?

I’m just starving myself and loosing muscle I think. I never have the energy to go to the gym. I just work/school and go home and need to lay down for the rest of the day. I need to begin study right now.

I’m thinking about waking up early tomorrow and go to my mom and dad in their summerhouse just to relax a little. They probably have unhealthy food there. Maybe I will just bring something extra healthy with me to cook. Any ideas ?

Feel empty. And FINALLY the numbers are going down.

Don’t need to go work at the pharmacy today because of first day of summer.

Going to the swimming pool with HL.

Only drinking juices today.

Good luck to all of you.

I did well yesterday until 8 pm.

I was so hungry I lost control and ate all I could have my hands on.

Now I wake up still bloated.

I dont want to step on the scale.

I feel bad.

Counting calories today:

update here…